Migo’s reign as hip hops top group has lasted the better part of the last 2 years, and doesn’t look like it’s slowing down anytime soon. They’re the rap version of the Beatles….if the Beatles were ex drug traffickers and had face tattoos instead of bowl cuts. Their most recent album “Culture II” was laced with bangers, one of the most notable of which was “Narcos”, a track inspired largely in part by the Netflix hit series of the same name. Yesterday they dropped the music video to accompany the song, and it is ALMOST everything one could hope for in a cocaine kingpin themed visual.

It showcases a beautiful tropical mansion setting, and Siracha hot bars from all 3 members, who are not actually “amigos” but a trio of two cousins and an uncle. I don’t know how that family dynamic breaks down. I assume somebody in their family tree was out here fucking early because they are all within 4 years of each other. I’m not going to ask questions though. My uncles are all like 60 and none of them are cool enough to get dreadlocks with me and reenact Scarface for my next music video, and I’ve asked numerous times.

Although I loved the video, I couldn’t help but feel that it shed light on a huge issue in hip hop today. We are losing the butts.

Throughout the entire visual, I counted only one solid cheek shot, and that is a very scary statistic.

Since the dawn of hip hop, fat bouncing asses were always a staple of every video. They make a sub par song so much better, and more visually stimulating. Don’t get me wrong I admire the artistry in videos like this, but large butts make the rap world go round. For reference, check out Nelly’s “Tip Drill” video.

It’s basically one nip shy of hardcore porn, and the cornucopia of tantalizing rumps turned an otherwise average song into a cinematic masterpiece. Although I am indeed a babyshit soft millennial, I grew up at the inception of online porn, and in middle school I got caught like ninety times trying to download Paris Hiltons sextape onto my moms home office computer. Horrible pornog by the way, who the fuck wants to watch someone get a blow J in night vision? It felt like I was jerking off to a bonus mission from Rainbow Six Vegas.

Anyway, once mother restricted my search access, I stumbled across Tip Drill, and it saved my adolescence. I must’ve cranked down at least 3 times a week to it in 8th grade. It was great! My mom thought I was just a tiny white kid emersing himself in black culture to look cool in front of his non Caucasian friends at school, and she was right! But, I also was looking at ASS all day. That’s a win-win situation.

I’m also pretty sure Tip Drill was the origin of America’s second favorite pastime, a game called “just the tip”. We all know how it goes, you enter the batters box with your mushroom cap and before you know it you and your lovely companion are rounding the bases all night. Only with consent of course though.

People forget all that Nelly did for our country. Bottomline, we need more butts in rap videos, it is the only way to save the rap game and the youth.