Making his debut on the zorb with this article is my good friend Jmac. He has some saucy takes on this Rockets Warriors series, and what the Rockets can do to steal it from the defending champs. Enjoy.
While Jeff Bezos of Amazon may be working on a guided space ship that can launch and land on same platform, the Houston Rockets aimed their missile straight at Oracle area, upsetting the dynamic Warriros in game four. This must win game for the Rockets was especially crucial for The Beard’s teammate Chris Paul. Why was it crucial? Because this guy has absolutely stunk up the joint in years prior with the pathetic Clippers. Considered one of the best point guards in the league, Chris Paul, had himself a night shooting 10-20 from the field.
The doubted Rockets needed to steal a game in the Warriors dojo to have a shot at the series. Having home court advantage simply isn’t enough against Steph and his posse. I’m still a bit nervous for the boys out in Houston now that Steph is healthy again and getting Iaesha wet with each three he puts up. The man is a sniper who shouldn’t be left open after he crosses half court. He reminds me of Wahlberg in Shooter, just popping everything in sight. So I must ask you Steph, “What kind of water is that?” Future and Thug would like to know.
Onto a very important point that needs to be heard in the sports world. What is the deal with Kevin Durant? This guy is arguably the best basketball player in the world and is the most sensitive little bitch social media has ever seen. Hey Kevin, why don’t you stop reading peoples reply tweets and creating internet beef with burner accounts and heave up the last shot instead of passing it off to Klay. If you want to be the best, you damn well better start acting like it. Excluding your 30+ point games in this series what else have you done? Nothing except pass up shots that you’re supposed to take and angrily watch Westbrook doing god knows what on Instagram. Get over it man. Draymond’s aggressiveness has rubbed off on the Durantchula, but in a passive aggressive hide behind your phone type of way.
Speaking of Draymond…How’d that dunk feel? HOLE THAT. I respect Draymond’s hustle and attitude but everyone likes to see a villain get what’s coming to them. It was a matter of time before the nut shots, trippings, and scuffles caught up to him and it just so happened it was game four of the western conference finals delivered by none other than James Harden. Say what you want about MVP, but Harden had my vote and continues to prove why I’m always right with my sports takes.
If the Rockets want to win this series there are a few things they need to happen. First, they need to continue playing their game. Keep shooting those three balls and allow the bench players to play their role. Remember, it’s a team effort out there. If one guy decides to roam around Houston a little too late before game five because he hasn’t had a nut in a few weeks, that could be the difference between Klay Thompson scoring 5 or 20 points in a quarter. Defense, defense, defense. Remember that.
Next if the Houston native, Travis Scott, drops Astro World I can guarantee it’s a wrap. The mans on fire but there’s no telling if this with happen so it’s TBD for now. Fingers Crossed. Lastly, the Rockets need to play a little dirty physically and mentally. The Cavs won the finals two years ago because Draymond got suspended. There are some real head cases on this team that CP3 and Harden need to pick at. Get in these dudes head, disrupt their composure and the Rockets are looking at a finals appearances in God knows how many years.
My bold prediction: Rockets in 7. Fuck the Warriors.