Well, I guess it’s time for reality to finally set in. My post draft optimism for a respectable Jets season lasted all of seven days, and it’s all thanks to the tri state areas favorite goon, Robby Anderson! We all had an idea that Robby was a grade A dirtbag after his high speed run in with the law a few months ago; I mean what sane, upstanding member of society drives 105 MPH in a 45 and then politely informs the responding officer that he will “nut in his wife’s eye” ?

No one likes nut in their eye Robby, not only is it in bad taste, the stickiness can cause permanent damage and create a film over the cornea that has the potential to trigger early onset glaucoma, and even eye loss. It’s true I learned about it on a reddit thread.

You think after receiving deafening public backlash for his poor driving and poor directional ejaculatory aim, Mr. Anderson would have taken these last few months to reflect on his life choices. Maybe begin to dabble in a bit of Buddhism, or limber up both his body and mind through some pilates classes. But no! Robby Rotten decided to do the dash a la Tay-K and completely skip his hearing yesterday morning.

No need to worry, though, because once he inevitably does get brought in to court, the house arrest monitor they inevitably strap on him will also serve as an ankle weight! Not only will he be repenting for his transgressions, but his foot speed off the line of scrimmage will improve ten fold. And if the courts decide to skip the house arrest stage and just send him right to jail, he can use the handcuffs to better his hand quickness and catch ability in traffic! Hell he might even get a Longest Yard scenario going and be able to ball out on the guards to earn his freedom back, wouldn’t that be something???

This is so Jets it hurts man, just as there is a glimmer of hope, the fans hearts get ripped out from our chests. Nothing promises a great career in one the harshest sports environments in the world then a rookie quarterback beginning mini camp with his #1 WR locked up in a Broward County Correctional Facility. Pray for Sam Darnold, this seasons already over.


Turns out this was actually a clerical error on the courts part, and Anderson or his legal team were never informed of the court date, so Robby is in the clear! For now…